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This blog is about coping with the strains of chronic illness whilst bringing up two beautiful children; it's also about the stresses of bringing up two children on your own while suffering with a chronic ongoing health problem which is at times very severe.... you can look at it either way. It's about being a single mum; it's about raising awareness of Interstitial Cystitis; it's about helping me cope. Writing this blog is beginning to bring me back to who I really am, who I really always was, before the single motherhood took over full time, before the illness set in.... a writer. I've always written, from essays to stories to journalism. This is the first thing I've written in years. It's helping me regain my confidence. PLEASE DO LEAVE ME COMMENTS AFTER MY POSTS! I'd genuinely love to hear your views on my (sometimes controversial) opinions. Thank you for taking the time to read. It would be great if you could comment so I know that you've been here and what you think.

Thursday, 15 August 2013

tell your baby sister not to do what i have done

i can't help thinking right now that i am being punished.

but for what i don't know exactly.

only that people keep on saying 'oh you're having the worst luck right now' , or 'isn't fate dealing you a raw hand'.... and i don't think it's that at all.

i think it's karma, for something.

i was owed some real proper overwhelming suffering, and here i am in the middle of it, trying to endure it, not knowing how much longer it can actually be endured, and wondering why me, why me, why me, and why me why now when i have these beautiful children to care for it IS NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR

 
 
 
 

I PLAN TO SIT HERE ON THESE ROCKS AND ASK AND ASK AND ASK WHY ME WHY ME AND PLEASE CAN IT STOP NOW

see you in a week. not taking computer with me. seem to be taking every other conceivable thing as making decisions impossible right now so have just packed everything , including the kitchen sink, but am very definitely leaving my computer here. and as there is no mobile reception where we are staying, i'll have some time for introspection away from screens, which will be good.

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