Dear C
Don't want to name you in public as I know you'd hate that; your support has always been so quiet, unassuming and steady, and I know you would hate me to shout from the rooftops about it, yet I would not have got through the last year without it.
We've been friends for ages, but it developed slowly, and if someone had told me a few years ago that when I developed a chronic illness you'd be the person who stuck by me the closest and was the most reliable, supportive, sympathetic and understanding, I'd have been surprised. Not because I didn't know that you were all of these things, because I did; but just - well - life surprises us sometimes.
I thought there were other, perhaps closer or more intensely close friends, who would have rallied around more dramatically; yet some of these quickly slipped away, and some just went into hiding until things got better (they haven't, but you don't ever seem to mind if I spent an hour moaning about my pain, or if I never want to talk about it at all and just want to pretend it isn't happening). Other friends have been there on and off, and family, but nobody that I have felt totally relaxed with all the time.
So. Thank you for being the most supportive person in my life over the past year.
You have helped me in numerous ways: from regular visits to me in hospital last autumn, to listening to me rant and ramble, to seeing me through manic days on the wrong painkiller combo and silent car trips when I was so depressed at the break up of my relationship, from staying the night with me after my cystoscopy, leaving your small children to do so, to taking day trips out with the children (even if I start arguing with people because so stressed out!), to supportive texts most days and just knowing you are always there if I need you.... you've had my children round to play numerous times when I just felt too weak to get through the day.... emotional support, moral support, and practical support, you've done them all. And you know who you are and you are amazing and don't ever, ever think that I don't appreciate it or that I don't value you really highly.
You've been a total rock for me this year; my little sis. I am here for you too, don't you forget it. Thank you, truly.
xxx
I experienced a similar situation, my best friend (or so I thought) completely disappeared. Luckily for me a friend who I classed as more of a passing friend, we had been thrown together due to work became my rock. This friend sat with me when I really must have been quite depressing and has been there ever since. She doesn't drink alcohol when we are together in support of me even though I tell her it's fine too and she has been so supportive and not made me feel like I'm a hindrance. I love the bones of this woman and will do my best to always be there for her. This illness has changed who I am and some days this makes me very sad but I am grateful for the fact that it has shown me who is genuine and who isn't ( the silver lining). Thank you so much for writing your blog it really helps that someone else is dealing with similar situations/ emotions and makes me feel a little bit less lonely.
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