The past three days have been total hell
I have found it hard to drag myself around the house, to do basic things for myself and for the children, to dress or leave the house impossible. just so exhausted. and of course depressed as well, but this is not depression doing this. this is the medication; though which medication I'm not not sure.
I have had to turn to one of my best mates who is totally wonderful and has been a huge help and also to my long-suffering (and don't they let me know it) parents.... in the end the GP came out to me this afternoon.... and her answer? side effects from 'one or other' medication - either the pain medication or the Elmiron - and 'worry and tears'. She was totally unhelpful and I felt worse after seeing her.
Family support good practically, Mum's been helping with school runs thank god, but emotionally they make me feel weak, useless and guilty.
I feel scared.
I don't know where this illness is going to lead me. I don't know if I am poisoning my body or starting to cure it. I don't know what the hell to do and there seems nowhere to turn. Am in the eighth circle of hell, with my poor sweet beautiful children standing on the outside, watching.
About Me
- rainbowgirl
- This blog is about coping with the strains of chronic illness whilst bringing up two beautiful children; it's also about the stresses of bringing up two children on your own while suffering with a chronic ongoing health problem which is at times very severe.... you can look at it either way. It's about being a single mum; it's about raising awareness of Interstitial Cystitis; it's about helping me cope. Writing this blog is beginning to bring me back to who I really am, who I really always was, before the single motherhood took over full time, before the illness set in.... a writer. I've always written, from essays to stories to journalism. This is the first thing I've written in years. It's helping me regain my confidence. PLEASE DO LEAVE ME COMMENTS AFTER MY POSTS! I'd genuinely love to hear your views on my (sometimes controversial) opinions. Thank you for taking the time to read. It would be great if you could comment so I know that you've been here and what you think.
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