Can you keep them? Do you tell them without meaning to? Are they a necessary part of avoiding hurt to others; or are they just another kind of lie?
Everybody has secrets. Even if it's just something small - a joint smoked at 16 when you're now a successful politician; a birthmark on your back, perhaps, that you keep hidden because you're embarrassed; a sneaky cigarette at the bottom of the garden when everyone thinks you've given up.
My daughter is keeping secrets at the moment, and I feel guilty. One has unwittingly come from me, another has come from my family, and several are coming from her friends at school. I wonder if, as a mother, I should be teaching her that all secrets are bad.
And yet - let me count my own. Three big ones. Too many little ones to count. Plus a lot of other people's secrets.
It's funny, because I hate lying. I have been lied to so much throughout my life, by lovers, by friends, by trusted partners. It's my worst character trait in others.
So clearly I categorise secrets as less bad.
But tonight I sit here wondering: are they really?
What if we just told the truth - the whole truth - and nothing but the truth?
In my case, people I love would be shocked, angry and hurt. I would lose people I love. I would end up wrecking something that is just about still standing, though outside the winds are howling and threatening to knock it down.
What happens when secrets are the only way forwards: the only way to keep us safe?
About Me
- rainbowgirl
- This blog is about coping with the strains of chronic illness whilst bringing up two beautiful children; it's also about the stresses of bringing up two children on your own while suffering with a chronic ongoing health problem which is at times very severe.... you can look at it either way. It's about being a single mum; it's about raising awareness of Interstitial Cystitis; it's about helping me cope. Writing this blog is beginning to bring me back to who I really am, who I really always was, before the single motherhood took over full time, before the illness set in.... a writer. I've always written, from essays to stories to journalism. This is the first thing I've written in years. It's helping me regain my confidence. PLEASE DO LEAVE ME COMMENTS AFTER MY POSTS! I'd genuinely love to hear your views on my (sometimes controversial) opinions. Thank you for taking the time to read. It would be great if you could comment so I know that you've been here and what you think.
Food for thought. I was only just pondering this the other day when my son asked the difference between good & bad secrets, my reply was bad secrets can hurt good secrets are happy, like a birthday party etc.. and we should never keep the bad ones. But once I started thinking about it, I like you have secrets that could shock & anger and i came to stale mate! I am glad someone else thinks like me ;-). I have really enjoyed your blog and it has given me a lot to think about. Keep up the great work specially if it takes your mind of your painful & frustrating illness. X
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